Weight Loss, Death and Life

So much stuff has gone down during these past couple of months. For the most part, life has felt surreal. I can think of no other way to describe it.  But, I'm working through it -- trying to keep my sense of humor and being realistic about my expectations and life in general.

On Thursday, July 19, it was exactly three months since my surgery. As of that date, I have lost 37.5 lbs. My doctor told me that he likes to see patients loose 12 lbs. a month after having the Sleeve Gastroectomy -- so I'm right on point! Because I want to continue to loose, I'm making exercise my primary focus for now.  I pretty much have the eating healthy part down. I'm going to crank up the exercise and see how it impacts my weight loss! 

My father passed away on June 28th. He had just turned 88 on June 12.  He lived a long, happy life and didn't have any major health problems until this past February. He was put on a feeding tube because he was aspirating on everything he ate and drank. Despite all of these issues, we were shocked when he passed. I think it was a combination of dad being larger than life and us being in denial.  He was the dad who could do anything. He was smart, strong and reliable. 

Actually, I thought it would happen for my dad like it did for my mom. She was in the hospital and our entire family went through the process with her. For twelve hours we sat at her bedside, held her hands, massaged her feet, shared stories about her, laughed and cried. There was also the Newfoundland tradition of shaking of the holy water in all four corners of the room. Dad said that it was what you did in Newfoundland when a person was dieing because the devil lurked in the corners of the room to get their soul. I watched him do that for my mom and thought that I would some day do it for him. But it didn't turn out that way. Instead, he went quietly in his sleep. 

He knew it was going to happen. He told my brother the day before that he was ready and that he would go in his sleep. I took the boys to see him that last evening -- they were supposed to be with their dad that night but he had to cancel because of work. He lit up when he saw them and asked them about their summer and if they were having fun. Before both boys left that night, they put their arms around their grandfather and gave him a big kiss and told him that they loved him. I did the same. All along, I had no idea that would be the last time.  

Pop lived with my sister and her family. They went to the Jersey shore on Father's Day weekend because my brother in law's parents renewed their wedding vows. I stayed with dad because he couldn't be by himself. It was awesome! I had him all to myself until Sunday and I enjoyed every minute of it!  We talked a lot. He told me more stories about his childhood in Newfoundland. I also heard some stories about his bachelor days in Brooklyn and going to Cony Island that I'd never heard previously. It was a very special weekend. I am very thankful I had the opportunity to experience it.

Since dad's passing, we've heard from so many of our cousins -- they've shared their stories about what he meant to them growing up and what a special brother he was to his sisters and wonderful uncle to his nieces and nephews. I know that he is up in heaven...with my mother, my aunts, grandparents and his best friend, Jim. I know that he is where he was ready to be and is at peace.  I still miss him and that will always be the case. The pain will lesson...the hole will get smaller...but it will still be there.

In the mean time, I have to refocus my weight loss program. I have to remember that I have two little boys who are counting on me to be around and to be there for them no matter what.  The great thing about having kids is that they very easily stop you from wallowing in your own sadness and kind of force you to move on.  I'm so fortunate to have the friends and family that I have in my life. I had forgotten just how lucky I am.