It's now Friday morning and I am feeling like I was run over by a truck. To top it all off, I'm having hot flashes. The nurse located a fan and was able to put it in my room. She was so sweet and totally got where I was coming from in terms of the flashes! I have little pink sponges on a stick that I can dip in to water to moisten my lips. I can't have anything to drink until I have my leak test which is when they have you drink barium and they xray your stomach to see if any of it is leaking. The nurse gives me more pain and anti-nausea meds and I fall back to sleep. A short while after, they wake me to take me down for my leak test. One of my surgeons takes a look at the xray along with the radiologist and both agree that I'm not leaking. Yaaayyy! A part of me wants to hop up on the bed and scream at that top of my lungs that not only did I not check out on the operating table but that I am also not leaking!!! I am overjoyed! I can almost taste the water!
They get me back to my room and my nurse brings me one whole ounce of water. I had to sip it. That one ounce took me 5 minutes to drink. I felt so full from it! I remember the doctor telling me that my stomach was going to be very swollen and that I can only sip one ounce every 10 minutes. Later that day, they brought me some chicken broth and jello. I only had a couple of spoon fulls of each over the course of an hour. Regardless, they tasted delicious and I was able to keep them down.
Mid-afternoon a priest walked in to my room and asked me if I wanted to receive the Sacrament of the Sick. He was kind of matter of fact and about it. Prior to Vatican II, the sacrament was called Last Rites and it was only given to people who were at risk of dieing. Now you don't have to be seriously ill to receive the sacrament and it can be given to you an unlimited number of times. In any case, I always thought it would be a bigger deal than it was in reality. Father stepped up to my bed and quickly put his stole around his neck and blessed me with Holy oil. It was quick but nice. Receiving the sacrament did make me feel better.
As my luck would have it, I got a surprise visit from my ex-husband on his way home from work! He wanted to see how I was doing and thought he'd stop in for a quick visit. Vanilla came up to see me at the same time. I can't describe the level of weird. At one point, I had the ex sitting directly in front of me, rubbing my left foot and I had Vanilla sitting directly to my left, holding my hand. It may have been the painkillers but I was a little freaked out. It was surreal. I think the ex genuinely cared about my well being and maybe there was some guilt mixed in as well, but it was still uncomfortable. I was so glad Vanilla didn't say anything to him. He said he did not want to cause any issues for the boys or I so he let it go. That's one of the reasons why I love Vanilla so much -- he's very level-headed and sees the big picture.
The next morning my doctor came in to see me and gave me a "come to Jesus" talk. In short, he explained to me that my kidneys and liver are impacted by my weight and that I need to loose a significant amount of weight as quickly as I can. My doctor is hoping that the fat around my liver will dissipate and that it gets healthier. He wanted me out of the bed as much as possible the entire day. I could not go home yet because I was still too weak and my kidneys weren't functioning the way they needed them to in order for me to go home. I listened to my doctor and got immediately out of bed and sat in a chair.
At 10 a.m., Vanilla and my ex-husband were at my bedside again. I'm told by the folks who visited me in the hospital that I didn't look my best and that they were all very concerned about me. That could have been reason my ex-husband felt compelled to come visit me at the hospital. In all honesty, it was a very nice gesture but it would have been cooler if he would have asked to spend some extra time with the boys while I was in the hospital to reassure them I was OK. That would have been very helpful. He left after an hour or so to enjoy his Saturday afternoon.
My sister came to see me. It was so good to see her and to hear about what was going on with the kids and my family. My sister has a very comforting way about her that it is just nice to spend time with her. During our visit, the same priest that gave me Sacrament of the Sick the day before came in to my room and gave me Holy Communion. I took the host without thinking that I was on a liquid diet and couldn't have any solids at all. Thank God, my sister reminded me and I quickly scraped it off of the roof of my mouth! I doubt it would have done anything to me but I wasn't going to take any chances!!
Shortly after my sister left, a house physician came in to see me and explained that I no longer needed to be in the ICU and that I would be transferred as soon as another bed became available in the hospital. I was ready to be in a regular room. I was starting to go out of my mind in the ICU. I was feeling depressed and had zero concept of time. Saturday night was especially tough. As if she were psychic, my close girlfriend came by to see me after she finished work at 10 p.m. She works in the ER of another hospital and was able to walk right by security because she was in scrubs. My nurse let her hang out with me for a while. It was so good to have her company -- I was so glad to see her. She made me feel so normal. I missed being normal. She helped me get settled and fall asleep. At around 2 a.m., I was awoken by my nurse to check my sugars and remove my catheter. I became confused and thought she had moved me out of my room in to another area. I kept asking her to take me back to my room. Finally, she came in to my room and turned on the lights and showed me that was still in my room. I guess I was still half asleep and my head was cloudy from the meds! It was a terrible feeling.
Sunday morning, my surgeon came in to see me at 6:00 a.m. and told me he would discharge me as long as I was able to pee. Talk about relief! As soon as I peed, I called Vanilla and he was up to get me by 8:30. Before I knew it, I was in our living room getting a very happy greeting from our little Maltese, Lucy. We called my sister and her husband to let them know I was home and that they could bring the boys when ever they were ready. I couldn't wait to put my arms around them!
I wasn't able to lay in our bed because I was too uncomfortable. Instead, I parked myself on our wing back chair and ottoman. My sister, her husband and the boys came through the door. There were many hugs and kisses! My little guy is looking at me and tells me that he is happy to see me but that I seem different. I explain to him that I still have to get better and that it is probably going to take a couple of more days. He seems relieved. My older guy is so sweet -- he tells me that I looked better than he expected and that he will help me to get better. They give me a beautiful orchid. My older guy explains to me that we won't water the plant, instead we will put three ice cubes on the top of the dirt. He showed me exactly how it is done!
My girlfriend is a nurse and she stops by to see me that evening. I ask her if she can give me my blood thinner shot in the morning. I explain to her that I have to take it once a day for 14 days. She kindly offers to give it to me each morning. She helped me get settled on my couch so that i could try and get some sleep. I am very blessed to have such good friends I can't even begin to tell you how heartwarming it was for me. Between my family and friends who were praying for me and being so supportive -- it was unbelievable.
I only slept for a couple of hours that night. After my girlfriend came by and gave me my shot, I fell back asleep on the chair for a couple of hours. I was actually feeling better than I did the day before. I was also able to walk the stairs without being short of breath. Vanilla took wonderful care of me -- he was amazing.
My brother-in-law called me to see how I was feeling. He seemed surprised and told me that I sounded so much better than I did when he and my sister dropped off the boys. He jokingly told me that he and my sister were afraid they were going to get stuck raising the boys! I laughed hard and told him that I had turned the corner on my recovery when he wasn't looking! I joked that I thought I was going to make it.
With every day that has passed, I felt a little stronger and able to walk further without being out of breath. Finally, I was able to lay in my own bed at night and actually get a good night's sleep. I felt like a new person!
I feel empowered! I still feel like I can do anything!
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